You Wait for a Silence
by bellarke
Summary: Princess, pain in the ass but noble and just, and freaking beautiful inside and out, whichever way he looks.


Hope you enjoy this one - I loved writing Bellamy's POV, so I hope I did it justice!

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**You Wait for a Silence**

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There's this thing between them now, and it's been there for weeks. Silent conversations, a look here and there, someone's hand grazing someone else's, skin burning like fire at just the slightest touch. Hostility is replaced with admiration, and admiration changes to friendship. And now their friendship has become love. Can't lose you, can't bear to be without you kind of love, and Bellamy knows he's screwed, because what kind of life can they really have together right now? Struggling to get by day by day, constantly on the lookout for murderous grounders, a lovesick spacewalker – who's actually a bit of a douche – and in amongst it all, Clarke.

Clarke Griffin. Princess, pain in the ass but noble and just, and freaking beautiful inside and out, whichever way he looks. He loves her, wholly and completely, and it's a goddamn dangerous thing to feel.

He sees her across camp, taking inventory of their medical supplies; she's going to want to make a run for seaweed later in the week, he can tell. She's got that face. Her lips are pursed, probably annoyed that they've been careless and gone through so much already. A headache here, a stomach cramp there. People are using it too much for the smallest things. She's going to suggest some new rules. He watches her drum her fingers against the table as she counts with the fingers on her other hand. She loses count often, easily distracted. A smile pulls his lips up.

It falls again quickly. Finn is en route to the supply tent, making a beeline for her. She sees him, and her eyes dart right past him to Bellamy, who stands perfectly still as though it doesn't bother him; like he doesn't even care enough to have an opinion. But he clenches his jaw so hard that he worries he might crack all of his teeth. Clarke sees right through him and hooks an eyebrow. He never took her for the attentive type, but she likes when he's jealous. Or protective. Protective is probably a better word – why the hell would he be jealous of spacewalker?

Bellamy knows she doesn't trust Finn. It's been clear as day, ever since she asked Bellamy to follow them to the grounder meeting.

'_You just had to trust me.' Clarke repeated a few nights later, for Bellamy's ears only. She was heavily reliant on Monty's moonshine at the time, and she didn't remember much the following morning. She wasn't handling her mother's arrival, and the mess it had been, all that well. In fact, she was choosing to ignore it. _

_Bellamy didn't mind when she ranted at him, although it was more that she was ranting near him. 'Why would I?'_

_Bellamy wasn't sure if it was a rhetorical question. He'd rather not have gotten caught up in that whole love triangle. Clarke and Finn's poker faces were absolutely terrible, and given Raven's icy attitude whenever they were around each other, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. _

'_He drives me crazy.'_

'_Isn't that a good thing?' Bellamy's said dryly. He wasn't one for relationship advice. The few he'd had on the Ark and on the ground had been short and sweet, and usually just for one night. It was too dangerous to let anyone get any further. _

'_But it's not in the good way. It's in the I-wish-he-wasn't-around-way.'_

'_Right.'_

'_I know you don't care.'_

'_I never said that.'_

'_You don't have to.' Clarke said, fixing him with a look that left Bellamy feeling completely exposed under her gaze. Surprisingly, he didn't mind one bit. _

And that's where it _really_ began, Bellamy thinks. He's still watching as Finn tries to talk to her, but it's not his place to intervene. She can take care of herself, and she could knock Finn on his ass if she wanted to. Bellamy settles for keeping a keen eye on them, because he knows she'll come and find him if she needs to. It doesn't quell the growing pit of anger in his stomach, though. He's never really liked Finn, but knowing the whole story now, Bellamy isn't interested in getting to know the guy. Sure, he's a handy tracker and he helped them find Octavia. But Bellamy carried him back to camp and helped save his life. As far as he's concerned, the debt is paid and they're done. Unless Clarke requests that he kick Finn's ass.

She's joked about it a few times.

'I'm not talking about this with you,' Clarke says a little too loudly, and it draws attention from other people. Bellamy stands a little straighter when he hears Finn's reply.

'But you'll talk about it with Bellamy?'

And he's suddenly marching across the camp. A target has appeared on Finn's back, and Bellamy sees red, but Clarke catches his eye and shakes her head. He stops dead and sidesteps into the ammunitions tent. If anyone tried to guess, they'd assume that's where he was headed anyway. He finds Raven busying herself with bullet-making, and he knows she's trying just as hard as he is to ignore the fact that Finn is still tailing after Clarke.

'Can't take the heat?' Raven asks bitterly, but Bellamy can guess there's far more hurt under her tone than she'd like to let on.

Bellamy scowls. 'It's not a competition.'

'Looks like they're done.'

She turns to look at him, having been peering out of the tent. Bellamy follows her direction and looks out. Clarke's heading into the drop ship with arms full of supplies, likely to start rationing them out. Finn's nowhere in sight. Bellamy spares a second for Raven, but she's carrying on with the bullets. He doesn't like her much, but even he has to admit that she's impressive as hell.

The rest of the day passes quickly, and after dark has set in and Bellamy's done his final walk and tally of camp, he closes the gates and locks them up tight. Every night feels the same now, like a little more weight is lifting with every passing day. They're still alive, so he's still doing his job. He thinks about going to the drop ship to make sure it's all closed up, but that's Clarke's assignment and she never misses a beat. He wonders if she's asleep yet, but when he sees the light in her tent, he knows she's not. It's their signal now. If her light's on when he's on rounds, she wants to see him. If it's out, she's already asleep. It's always on now.

He heads over, tapping lightly on the tarp for permission, and she pulls open the cover to let him in. He snuffs out his own torch, then makes his way inside and finds her sitting with her knees up to her chest. She watches him as he comes closer, never taking her eyes away. They're glassy, and he knows she's been crying because he can see the streaks on her cheeks. He doesn't say anything; words are just words to Clarke, and whatever he says now about her mother or Finn to comfort her will fall on deaf ears. She doesn't want comfort, she wants reality, and Bellamy gives her that. He lifts a hand and dabs her teary cheeks with his thumb.

'Do you think she's dead?' she whispers, and her hands tighten their grip on her knees.

He sits down beside her, but leaves the distance for her to close if she wants to. She does, moments later, when she grips his arm with both her hands and lays her head on his shoulder.

'The drop ships come with basic defences,' he starts, and he doesn't really know where he's going with it, but he carries on and lets whatever words come out. 'But I don't know if they could withstand that.'

She closes her eyes, but she doesn't cry. She's all out of tears. He lifts her chin with his finger and leans in, so they're nose to nose. 'But I do know that if your Mom's anything like you, she can handle a hell of a lot.'

The smallest of smiles touches her lips and she puts her forehead against his, eyes closing once again, and she breathes in deeply. Bellamy can't bring himself to close his eyes. He always wants to savour the moments with her when they're this close, because he doesn't know how many they'll get.

'Do you want to be alone?' he asks, and she shakes her head.

She moves in and places a gentle kiss on his lips. She murmurs his name when they pull apart, and this time Bellamy's eyes are closed because he struggles to believe how good he's got it; she wants him, and she wants him for so much more than just one night.

She turns and guides his arms around herself, and together they lie back on her bed. She's wrapped up in him when she falls asleep and Bellamy's left lying awake for a while, taking all of her in; the smell of her hair, the softness of her skin, the way she sounds when she breathes. He loves every single part of her, and he knows it's dangerous to let anyone get too close, but with Clarke he can't help it.

And he'll be damned if lets anyone take it away.

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_Thanks for reading - leave me some feedback? x_


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